ABTV

.Comics

2008-11-01T05:47:00.010+11:00

I have just finished Guy Delisle's Chroniques Birmaines in French, although the English translation is now out and available in bookstores under the title Burma Chronicles. The book is a series of vignettes detailing daily life under one of the most strange and brutal regimes in the world. As far as niches go, Delisle's got the graphic-diary-in-a-dictatorship all locked up. I can't think of any other cartoonist, excepting Joe Sacco, who so consistently tackles international problem states with such ease. Chroniques is his third book about life in a dictatorship, following Pyongyang, set in North Korea, and Shenzen, set in China. One of the reasons Delisle focuses on these bizarre nations is that his wife Nadege is an administrator for Medecins Sans Frontieres, and so he spends a lot of time in terrible places that most cartoonists don't visit.

Delisle's work is successful due to his eye for detail, in both his drawings and his subject matter, turning his novels into fine works of visual reportage. An example of this is the story he recounts midway through Chroniques, after he's been in Burma in few months. (The country is also known as Myanmar in the UN, but not formally recognized as Myanmar by many UN members protesting the regime.) Rumours that the ruling generals were planning to move the capital prove to be true, when one day, without warning, they begin to pack up and go. Bureaucrats are given 24 hours notice to leave the capital and if they refuse, they'll be thrown in jail. The capital itself is moved from Rangoun to town still under construction in the middle of nowhere, a place without water or electricity, and apparently tons of snakes. Bureaucrats sleep under their desks while housing is built. But the best part, the cream on the top of the ridiculous sundae, is that the generals refuse to give the name of the new capital, claiming it is a defense secret. It is then named, and then renamed, ending up as Nay Pyi Daw, meaning "The Residence of the King."

Another story that seems paranoid in the extreme revolves around a journalist friend of Delisle, who visits him in Burma then writes a story in France criticizing the regime and mentioning Delisle and his drawings. One of Delisle's animation students works for the government and is concerned that agents in the Burman embassy in France will see the article, link the student to Delisle and toss said student in jail for 10 years. In a panic, Delisle burns all his copies of the magazine in Burma and spends the next few days calling around to see how likely it is the story will be read, until he is assured by an unidentified ambassador that the Burmans in France likely can't even speak French. "One of the benefits of corruption," the ambassador remarks dryly.

Delisle and his family leave Burma after a year and bit due to MSF's withdrawal from Burma because of the increasingly ridiculous restrictions placed upon aid organizations in that country, including visa renewals every month. Delisle captures the bittersweet moments of his departure, such as his final farewell to his animation students after a boozy night, knowing he will never seem them again. He thinks back to a mother and child he saw in a clinic for HIV/AIDS patients one morning and returns the following day to ask about them, only to discover there are so many women and children that go through the clinic doors the aid workers have already forgotten the two he's asking about. It's those small details, like the farewell, that make the book so strong. As a work of comic art, the book is fine, but as work of literature and global analysis, Chroniques Birmaines deserves to stand alongside other serious books in the politics section of your nearest bookstore.

Francophones can check out Guy Delisle online, including links to reviews and other works. Also see the Guy Delisle page at Drawn and Quarterly, publishers for his English editions, here.

Missing Bondi

2008-10-21T13:12:00.006+11:00

Here's a little snap of the ocean I took a while back. Sigh.
Miss it. The sun rising over Ben Buckler at Bondi Beach.

Essay On Homecoming

2008-09-23T13:00:00.004+10:00

I had been waiting for this moment for ages, savouring its arrival. For the first time in a year, I'd get to wait in the fast line, the line that says 'Canadian Passport Holders' while all the unlucky slobs get stuck in the long "All Other Passport Holders' line. A quick look, a nod and I'm through!

Right. It turns out that Canada is one of the very few countries that does not make a distinction between nationalities, so all customs lines are equally long and boring. Further, I got stuck in the line with the Super-Attentive-Ask-A-Million-Questions Customs Officer, so every other line breezed ahead.

Just goes to show that reality often fails to live up to high expectations. The real pleasure is having no expectations at all and then being pleasantly surprised by whatever comes along. And that's just one of the many, many things I've learned while travelling during the past year. Although I won't recount every little lesson, there are a few things I'd like to share.

Patience

First, it might be surprising that I am going to claim I have learned how to be patient. I would like to state that the above scenario took place after three flights totalling 23 hours in length, not counting 18 hours stopover which could stretch anyone's patience a little. But all flying aside, I have increased my meagre store of patience and I blame it all on trying to learn how to surf.

It took me months to even claim to be a surfer, despite the fact that I often woke up at 5:30 in the morning and walked 15 minutes through town in a wetsuit to get to the beach, sometimes arriving before the sun was up. There were many times that I considered giving up on this sport that requires such a monumental amount of effort for such fleeting moments of joy. The turning point was another set of lessons after months of floundering, and in two days I was riding with ease and I've made progress on my own since. The best thing about those lessons was the reassurance that surfing is a lifelong pursuit filled with frustrations, setbacks and failures. My flatmate told me of a week-long surf trip he took to Fiji during which time he caught only three waves. Another surfer that I met one sunny afternoon in Manly said that he looks at the waves like a parking lot; if you miss this one wave/parking space, don't worry, because another one will come along soon enough.

Ultimately, I'm glad that I stuck with it, that I kept getting up early and dragging myself into a cold wetsuit and even colder water. There's nothing better than taking a deep breath of sea air, splashing through the waves to get out the back and watch the sun rise and the waves come in. Nothing better unless you've got someone or a few someones to share it with, which brings me to my next thought.

Meet The Locals

After leaving Australia I travelled to Thailand and then to Taiwan. In both countries I had the opportunity to surf, although in greatly varied conditions, and in both countries was able to connect with people over our shared love of the sport. In Thailand, where there can be such a great divide between relatively wealthy white tourists and the Thai people who serve them, I surfed alongside Phuket locals as an equal. To be fair, they were better surfers than me, but we sat on the same waves and a few girls and I shared a smile and a nod. Later I oogled pictures of local surfers on the walls of the surf shop as I returned my rental board. The lady running the shop pointed out pictures of herelf on sizeable waves and modestly claimed they were small that day.

In Taiwan, my friend Miranda and I visited the small surfing village of Jialeshuei and made friends with the village kids one evening. One boy, along with a Taiwanese tourist, taught us a new card game called Pai Chee (Seven Piles or Seven Cards in Mandarin) and the next morning we all went for a surf together. Miranda spoke some Mandarin while I speak none, and only one boy of all the village children spoke much English, but together we got by. Now I have a Taiwanese pen pal, and he's got a few English surfing words to practice.

In both cases I did something more than show up with my Lonely Planet under my arm, tick off sights on a list, and move on to the next place. I made an effort to talk to the people that lived there and share something with them, not just use them as a backdrop for my holiday snaps. And that brings me to my final thought.

Travelling Is What You Make It

I read an interview a few months ago in a surf magazine that has stayed with me and is particularly relevant now. The interview is with Dave Rastovich, the world's most-famous and most-respected free surfer. A free surfer is someone who is paid to surf and travel the world but does not compete in surfing competitions. Rastovich has the respect of his peers (the rest of the world's best sufers), freedom from the pressure of competing in order to retain sponsors, and he gets to surf all the time. He's living the dream life, and the interviewer asks him how people react. Dave says that people would tell him he was very lucky and he would tell them he was given the same abilities as everyone else but he created the opportunites in his life that allowed him to get to where he is today. Granted, not everyone can grow up near an ocean or has the skills to become a world-class surfer, but the point is that you get out of something what you put into it.
Travelling is the same. If you put in the effort to see something new, to learn about the country you're visiting, you can have a wonderful experience and go home with new friends.

I hope to apply the things I've learned as I'm re-adjusting to living in Canada (especially patience!) and that I can find my own version of free surfing. It will just take a little time.

Thailand Revisited

2008-09-22T14:29:00.010+10:00

Long tail boat, Ko Phi Phi Don
Monkey Beach, Ko Phi Phi Don
Swimmers, Koh Phi Phi Leh
Concrete musicians, Ko Samui
Urchins, Koh Phi Phi Leh
Big Buddha, Koh Samui

Country Roundup

2008-09-19T00:13:00.003+10:00

Just a quick breakdown of observations from countries I have travelled to in the past year. Sometime this week an essay will follow.

Country with the biggest coins, rendering wallet a hefty brick: Australia

Most anger towards English speakers: Italy

Highest probability of gastro-intestinal disorders: Thailand*

Most likely to be asked to be in a photo by people you don't know: Taiwan

Place where summer feels like winter: South Island, New Zealand

Most likely place to be surrounded by Western tourists, causing self to ask what country self is actually in: Koh Phi-Phi, Thailand

Least likely place to see other Western tourists: East Coast, Taiwan

Best bread: France

Best coffee: Australia

Best pizza: Rome

Place that did not live up to reputation as pickpocket central: Barcelona

Place that unfortunately did: Overnight bus to Koh Samui, Thailand

Place which promised sunshine nearly every day of the year excepting a few days, during which time I happened to visit: Valencia, Spain

Least exciting European City: Madrid

Funny example of living up to national stereotype: Drunken yobbos fighting each other in the street after the pub closed, London.

Sexiest newspapers: Sydney

Smartest newspapers: London

Largest array of completely bizarre television programming, including at least five channels showing mathematical equations performed by host: Taiwan

Surprisingly wonderful place to visit: Montpellier, France

Worst odd garbage smells: Tie between Toronto streets and Bangkok canals

Best city to find lost objects: London, red cashmere scarf.

Most memorable Buddhist temple, deduced after seeing at least 40 million others: Chiang Mai, Thailand

Easiest city to get around: Toronto

Easiest city to get to airport due to excellent rail link: Sydney

Most difficult city to get to airport despite rail link: London

City which I am glad I will never again have to visit: Genoa, Italy

*Due to listeriosis outbreak in Toronto, Canada may replace Thailand as number one.

Bangkok

2008-08-18T13:34:00.011+10:00

1. Random puffy food in Chinatown.
2. Muay Thai at one of BKK's two stadiums. Lots of cockroaches were watching too.
3. Cat at a Wat (temple), tons hang about.
4. Reclining Buddha.

Whitsunday Fishies

2008-08-04T20:14:00.004+10:00

Winter Sun

2008-07-10T16:21:00.004+10:00

Just for the record, am never buying Coles (supermarket) brand film again, it looks like juunnnk. But these all turned out well enough.

Pope-Tastic 2

2008-07-07T14:25:00.003+10:00

I have learned a new word. The word is boat-a-cade. As in the Pope is arriving in Sydney's Central Business District by boat-a-cade and he will then be loaded into the Popemobile where he will proceed down George street by motorcade.
So what other types of cades ought there to be? Here are five I to which I have taken a fancy:

1. Skate-a-cade

2. Aero-cade

3. Chimp-a-cade

4. Hang-glide-a-cade

5. Bird-a-cade

Pope-Tastic 1

2008-07-07T14:21:00.002+10:00

Next week the Pope is coming to Sydney for World Youth Day. I somehow managed to avoid him when I came to Toronto, but this time I am not so lucky. His motorcade is passing under my office window. A Catholic charity is exhibiting at my work. Now it looks like Sydney is going to be all chaos on Pope Visits Day (July 17th)
because the rail and bus workers are going on strike. Yes. They are. I'll be sure to take photos of the fun.

Sun but No Surf

2008-07-03T11:30:00.005+10:00

My digi cam doesn't capture sun flares very well, but you can see that it's all sun and no surf down at Manly right now. Cross your fingers that the swell forecasted to hit this weekend actually comes. In the meantime, I'll be reading my new Frankie magazine.

Top Five Lollies Eaten At Work

2008-07-01T16:49:00.002+10:00

1. Lindt Mint Chocolate mini choccy bar.

2. Mystery ju-jubes in Tupperware on co-worker's desk.

3. Starburst Snakes in non-naturally occurring snake colours.

4. Dove chocolately things bought on promo from Woolworth's.

5. Droste Chocolate Orange Pastille given to me by boss before going on vacay.

Book Club

2008-07-01T16:39:00.006+10:00

How many covers can one book possibly have? Well I have the answer. The answer is four.

The new book club book. You can follow along at home.

Photo Life

2008-06-30T16:42:00.006+10:00

The Museum of Sydney is currently running an exhibit entitled Rockabilly: Living the 50s about modern-day Sydneysiders who happen to style their lives as though we were still living in the fifties. I suggest you click through to see the fab cat-eye glasses sported by two lovely park-going locals. Not long after seeing a preview in the Herald I walked by this lovely powder-blue beauty and had to stop and snap it.

As well, my favorite Sydney gallery is running an photography show documenting the earliest days of one of Australia's most famous bands. AC/DC Exposed! is meant to coincide with Bon Scott's July 9th birthday (he being the original lead singer, now sadly deceased).

Lastly, I have recently acquired an underwater housing for my Fisheye. Fittingly, it's called the Fisheye Submarine. Watch this space for underwater shots!

(Image courtesy www.zippos.com)

Night Swim

2008-06-27T14:07:00.007+10:00

A few nights ago I went for a swim in the Fairlight saltwater pool after I got home from work. I knew it was going to be cold as the sun had been down for a few hours already and night lows were hovering in the single digits. I chose the full wetsuit instead of the short-arms, short-legs spring suit, and I brought along the swim cap and goggles.
I hopped in as quick as I could and starting swimming. My hands and feet tingled as I kicked through the water. My face felt like I had gone and stuck it in a bucket of ice-water.

The pool itself was lit by a streetlight that hangs over one side of the water, illuminating half the pool lengthwise and leaving the other side, the nearer to the ocean side, in darkness. Despite that, I could see the bottom perfectly and the water was crystal clear. In the summer, or any time at high tide when the pool is battered by waves, the water is cloudy from sediment and turbulence. Last night it was calm and I could see shells and sand settled on the uneven rocky floor.
But, my hands and feet began to go numb and I started to imagine sharks lurking in the far dark corners, so I popped out. And today my suspicious were confirmed-no, not about the sharks-it looks like ocean temps have dropped another degree or so. Winter has truly hit Sydney.

(Pool stairs)

Like Ships That Pass in the Day

2008-06-25T13:31:00.002+10:00

Lots of ship action in the harbour this week.

Yesterday on the way to work I saw a black helicopter land on a navy ship not far from the ferry windows in the harbour. I'm not sure if it is the HMAS Leeuwin because the Navy website offers only a few pictures, but anyway here's a link.

Today I saw two tug boats waiting near the harbour heads for an incoming cargo ship. And, as we got farther along in the harbour, I saw another cargo ship called the British Harmony just sitting about with a tug nearby. So, I Googled it (the ship not the tug). Turns out you can find out a whole bunch of information about ships on the internet.

For example British Harmony was near Indonesia in March and her call sign in MHMZ8. I also found a shipspotters webpage with pictures of the ship in Wellington, NZ. Apparently British Harmony is a British tanker built in Korea with one propeller (single screw) and a max speed of 15 knots. I also found out thanks to the Sydney Ports vessel movements schedules that good ol' BH arrived at 07:36 this morning, is scheduled to depart at 16:30 this afternoon for Singapore, and that she's carrying inert gas.

Besides vessel movements, Sydney Ports also has a cruise ship arrivals listing for the next 18 months. Some of these ships have great names like Silver Whisper, Rhapsody of the Seas, Pacific Venus and Crystal Serenity. The floating apartment block that is The World is schedule to arrive in Sydney on Tuesday, December 22 at 10:00am and departs on December 26th from Circular Quay. It will cost the World $275 an hour plus GST to dock at the Overseas Passenger Terminal at Circular Quay for roughly a period of 96 hours, making it about $26,400 dollars including GST. Note to self: own a harbour one day, charge lots of money to access.

Full Moon Night

2008-06-19T14:14:00.006+10:00

Going to the Footy

2008-06-16T16:40:00.005+10:00

Went to the footy match on Saturday, the Sydney Swans vs. St. Kilda something-or-others (St. Kilda is a Melbourne suburb). The game was held at the Sydney Cricket Oval. Footy is okay, but mostly you spend time trying to see where the ball is because there are literally fifty people on/nearly on the field at a time.

Do the math:

Players, 2 teams x 18 =36
Linesmen and referees =7
Waterboys =6 (at least)
Directions kids =2 (at least)

Total 51

Yeah, a bit much wouldn't you say? The directions kids probably have real names, but as far as I can tell their sole job is to wear fluoro, run on the field, whisper in a player's ear and run off again.

Going to The Birds

2008-06-11T14:21:00.005+10:00

1. Cockatoo
2. Manly at Night
3. Bondi

Dolphins in Real Time

2008-06-10T11:21:00.004+10:00

On Saturday I went for a surf with my flatmate, although we ended up at opposite ends of the beach. But we both saw the dolphins that came into the bay, chasing a school of fish. I had been sulking on the beach since I had hit myself in the foot with my surfboard fin (which freaking hurts and left me limping, even though it is just a piece of plastic) and had a calf cramp in the other leg. I decided to give it one last go and hobbled back to the water. I had just paddled out and was sitting up when about fifteen feet in front of me a pod of dolphins leapt out of the water. I think there were about six or so, grey and shiny. A few jumped out of the water, showing off. They continued on down the beach after the fish, fins slicing through the chop.

Moral of the story: Stop sulking on the beach and get back in the water.

Splish Splash

2008-06-10T10:14:00.005+10:00

Last week Sydney got hit with massive south-east swell with high winds and pelting rains which made the commute to work more like a thrill ride on the high seas. The ferry captain, when passing by the harbour heads, steers the ferry into the incoming waves, out towards the open ocean, makes a quick crossing across the gap while the waves hit broadside and then turns the ship in again to ride the crests back in towards the city. As the ferry plows through the waves, it hits the troughs of the swell and massive amounts of spray cover the deck. The boat shudders when it lands at the bottom of these troughs, and creaks and leans.

During the day it is all very exciting and thrilling and some foolhardy individuals like to go out on the foredeck, watching the swell and pretending they are pirate captains of yore, on the way to plunder and pillage some unsuspecting village. A few men (of course they were men) went out on the deck last week, feeling quite macho, when a giant plume of spray rose up and soaked them all, causing the rest of the ferry to laugh at them. This video is from that morning, although you can't see the men all huddled in the doorway.

During the night however, the crossing feels dangerous and eerie. The night before I took this video I came home in a wild swell. Dense cloud cover meant the night was utterly black by five-thirty. On the ferry, the door to the foredeck was banging open, and there was just enough light to see massive waves, not plumes of spray but white walls of water smashing across the deck. The passengers were strangely quiet, as though listening for the next big one. We landed at the bottom of a deep trough with a giant shudder and the boat began to lean very far to the side, causing people to gasp and shout. And these people are Aussies, remember, they don't gasp easily. The girl next to me sputtered out that she'd never been on a ferry ride this bad in her life. Faces were grim. The possibility of capsizing crossed more than a few minds. Her and I held on tight to our seats, otherwise we'd have been thrown across the floor. There were nervous smiles exchanged. I began to realize what it feels like to be stuck at sea in a storm and how difficult it was to get to Australia when ships were the only option. And then it was over. Once we passed the headland, the rolling eased and our hands began to unclench. We arrived at Manly as though nothing much had happened, but I had to wait a bit of time for my stomach to catch up.

A Horse is a Horse

2008-06-03T16:55:00.004+10:00

This shot is from a while back when I went on a trip up the coast avec mon amie Joy and we stopped in at a petting zoo.
I tried to save money when I processed this roll by getting prints instead of scans, and turns out I didn't save any dough and then had to scan this in and colour-correct by hand. As a result, this photo is super-saturated and maybe looks better than the original or maybe just looks a bit fake depending on how you feel. And white borders! What was I thinking?
Anyway, there are some sweet shots of goats on the same roll, but by the time I've scanned and colour-corrected, it could be some time before they see the light of the interweb.

Bye-Bye Banana

2008-06-02T16:21:00.003+10:00

Bananas are dying. The fruit that was selected into existence by man is being selected out of existence by nature. See here, here and here. This article is even claming no more bananas by 2013!
No more banana bread, no more banana chocolate chip cookies post-ski/snowboard (my fav) no more banana cereal, no more bananas!

Unfortunately the demise of the banana does not mean the demise of banana republics in general, or Banana Republic specifically. And Banana Republic (the store) has always puzzled me with its name choice. It's like naming a store Shoddy Dictatorship or Communist Regime. And speaking of banana republics, if there are no bananas being grown in countries with governments propped up by fruit conglomerates, will there be a change in labelling? Will they become pineapple republics? Mango republics? Avocado republics?

In the meantime, I suggest enjoying as much banana-y goodness as possible. Don't forget to purchase your handy banana case. It prevents your banana from becoming bruised when you bring it into work for lunch.

Super Swell

2008-05-27T16:22:00.002+10:00

Thought I'd share with you a bit of the morning commute.

"Attention passengers: Shortly we will be passing Sydney Harbour Heads. The vessel may experience more movement than usual due to the ocean swell." Aka be careful you don't fall out of your seat.

PLAYLIST II

2008-05-23T16:03:00.002+10:00

The theme of this playlist is that all songs end in the letter S. In fact, each song title contains a plural noun. How's that for Nerdism?

1. MGMT - Kids

2. Custom Kings - Red Sails

3. Pnau - Wild Strawberries

4. Powderfinger - Sunsets

5. Trial Kennedy - Neighbours

(Click to link to YouTube)

Top Five Sandwiches

2008-05-23T15:55:00.007+10:00

1.Cheese and yellow mustard

2.Toasted BLT with extra crispy B

3.Peanut butter and Cheez Whiz

4.Cucumber and Ranch dressing, toasted

5.Roasted chicken with full fat mayo and lettuce and tomato

Guess which one I had for lunch today...

Fridgidy Video Comeback

2008-05-20T10:02:00.005+10:00

Although the name of this blog is abTV and not abPHOTO, I have been long neglectful of the video aspect of this particular piece of web real estate.
I would like to welcome Video back to the fold with a short clip from a cold swim at the beach this recent Sunday afternoon, shot on my Olympus 790 SW (SW stands for shock and waterproof, which is something my clumsy self desperately requires.) Don't be fooled: while the water looks warm, the air outside is significantly colder.

Note: Now I remember why I don't post as many vids. Blogger compresses them down. You can't even see the fishlets that were hovering under that first wave. Rest assured, in the high res version you can see their shiny little sides.

Top Five Things to Do on May Long Weekend

2008-05-19T10:42:00.002+10:00

Ah, you lucky, lucky Canadians. You've just celebrated one of the best holiday weekends of the year. It's now pretty much summer, you've aired out the cabin and months of warm weather, long sunny evenings and days at the lake stretch before you. Le Sigh.

In Australia, the Queen's birthday is celebrated on the second Monday in June and it is, appropriately, called the Queen's Birthday Weekend. Oddly enough, it is also supposed to mark the start of Australia's ski season. However, Australians don't celebrate any one Queen's birthday in particular as we do on Victoria Day in Canada.

So, in honour of good ol' QV herself, I'd like to name my top five list of things to do on May Long Weekend.

1. Taking that first shivering, numbing, painful dip in the lake which may or may not have ice hanging about the shore. Spend the rest of the day trying to regain feelings in extremities and pestering friends about the odds of toe amputation due to hypothermia/frostbite.

2. Burning your first weenie of the summer to blisters, while you try to remember where you put the buns. Sinking feeling in pit of stomach as you realize buns are on the kitchen counter back home, and the sole convenience store located fifteen miles down the road is closed for the evening.

3. Comparing this year's weekend snowfall to the many other snowfalls that have ruined May Long Weekends in your lifetime, your parents' lifetimes, your friends' lifetimes and your friends' parents' lifetimes. Bonus points for hail/snow, snow/rain, snow/slush, freezing rain, tornadoes or avalanches.

4. Taking the canoe out for the first paddle after having cleared a winter's worth of leaves, dead bugs, spiders and dirt. Somehow managing to miss the biggest spider of them all which choses to crawl up your arm while you're in the middle of the lake, causing you to drop the paddle which is quickly blown out of your reach.

5. Vowing next year you won't need your winter coat for the best weekend of summer.

Fog

2008-05-16T10:01:00.009+10:00

There aren't many places in the world where your commute to work is halted by fog.
Apparently that's what happened to the ferries yesterday.

Here are a few snaps of the ghostly ride to work in the morning. By the time I got off the boat, it was clearing nicely, as you'll see in the last shot of the botanical gardens.

Top Five Vodka Cocktails at Borsch, Vodka and Tears

2008-05-16T09:43:00.004+10:00

1. The Latest Craze Sweeping Poland
Żołądkowa, cucumber and lemonade

2. Ninja Love
Wiśniówka cherry vodka and gin with lemon and a Campari sugar rim

3. Polish Bitch
Kosher vodka with sour cherry syrup, laced with tabasco

4. Fascist in Exile
A tropical blend of pineapple vodka and fresh lime shaken until fluffy with egg white

5. Diminished Responsibility
Piołunówka absinthe and Cytrynówka vodka muddled with fresh lemon and dry ginger ale over crushed ice

Melbourne

2008-05-15T09:20:00.007+10:00

1. Borsch, Vodka and Tears
2. Night flowers in the CBD
3. Empty kegs in the laneway near St. Jerome's
4. Loch Ard Gorge on the Great Ocean Road
5. Leanna, Renee and me at St. Kilda, Melbourne's beach.
6. The Night Cat

Top Five Restaurant Names

2008-05-07T15:32:00.007+10:00

In a nod to Nick Hornby, here are my current five favourite restaurant names:

1. Le Persil Fou (The Crazy Parsley), Montreal
2. Aunties and Uncles, Toronto
3. Snack Kebab Hip Hop's Food, Montpellier, FR
4. Hu's on First, Winnipeg (note: resto is at baseball park, har har)
5. Borsch, Vodka and Tears, Melbourne

Book Club

2008-05-06T09:37:00.002+10:00

New Selection:

Written on the Body
by Jeanette Winterson.

You can follow along at home!

Fish of My Eye

2008-05-05T10:05:00.009+10:00

1. The Manly to Spit Bridge walk
2. Forty Baskets reserve
3. The Corso water features
4. The commute home
5. The commute in to work

The Key Issues

2008-04-30T11:14:00.006+10:00

(Photo courtesy www.sydneymanlyholiday.com)

This morning I went down for a surf with Posh Lawyer and seeing as it was a south swell we headed to Queenscliff beach* (see map) which is better angled to catch waves from a southerly direction. After finishing for the morning we changed as quickly as possible and tried to make our escape from the cold beach wind as the temp was about 8 degrees. The car, however, had other things in mind. Despite many tries, curses, unlocking and relocking of various doors, pushing of buttons, swiveling of steering wheel and more cursing, it just wouldn't start. The culprit turned out to be the keys, which couldn't deactivate the anti-theft immobilizer after said keys had been immersed in the ocean. So, we set out for home on foot. By choosing QC as our beach instead of Manly it added a good ten minutes to the long walk back.

PL was kind enough to lend me his surf booties because my feet were so cold it hurt to walk. He stopped at the garage to get a mechanic, while I clown-walked all the way home through the shopping district and up the hill in the booties that were several sizes too large, my wettie, a hoodie and a tuque. I got strange stares from people in suits as I trudged up the hill, blocks away from any ocean and no surfboard in tow.

Figuring that I could grab my bike and still make down the hill to the 8:25 ferry, I hurried to get ready and out the door. As I reached my bike I noticed the lock had green residue on it, similar to the colour copper turns in the sun. Paying no mind, I shoved my key in the lock, which had been sticky the last few times I had used it, and turned. The key snapped off in hand, twisting like pulled taffy. It was now 8:15 and I had less than ten minutes to get down the hill and buy my ticket before the gates closed at 8:23. I cursed the salty sea air that had corroded my lock and the fact that I insisted on having a third piece of peanut butter toast when I should have been running for the ferry.

I made it to the wharf at 8:25, after running through a construction zone and ducking under barricades, tape and rolling barriers, attracting yells from the workers. To my surprise, the jet cat was late and I made it by an eyelash.

Lesson learned: Salt + water + air + keys = bad news bears.

*Note: Manly actually goes through three name changes as you travel up the beach; Manly, North Steyne and Queenscliff but is, in reality, the same stretch of sand.

PLAYLIST I

2008-04-28T11:17:00.004+10:00

1. Cut Copy - Lights and Music

2. Muscles - Hey Muscles, I Love You

3. Architecture in Helsinki - Heart it Races

4. Nick Drake - Cello Song

5. The Roots - Get Busy

6. Sparkadia - Too Much To Do

Australiana II - The Caged

2008-04-28T10:16:00.001+10:00

1. My arch-nemisis, the Sulphur Crested Cockatoo.
2. Koala, avec eau de eucalyptus.
3. Dingos, not eating any babies yet.

Australiana I - The Wild

2008-04-28T10:03:00.000+10:00

Get ready for some cheesy, stereotypical tourist pictures!

I am obviously thrilled.

Mama Roo and I discuss the sub-prime mortgage crisis, impending recession and whose lawn is best. Verdict: Blame Bush, and the Kerrigans down the way.

Jervis Bay bottlenose.

Sandwich Stealers

2008-04-23T11:26:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I got off the ferry and went for a quick walk before work to the botanical gardens. Near the sculpture garden I spotted some ibises searching the grass for food.

The ibis was the first strange Australian bird I met, and I saw my first ibis in the park near the Sydney Aquarium. My friend Kelsey told me it was the "sandwich-stealing bird" and that I should be very careful when eating near them.

After a little research I found out they are also called "tip turkeys" (tip is Australian for garbage can) and have been subject to culls. The favoured method of culling involves coating the eggs in canola oil (Canadian canola?), blocking the air holes and preventing the matter inside from becoming a little birdie. The problem with this method is that ibises are long-lived, so a reduction in chicks born won't immediately be reflected in the population. This article even mentions the possibility of extinction, which is pretty sad. Maybe instead of killing them all off, we could just learn to share our sandwiches?

In other news, this is my 50th post! Yay 50! Happy Gold Anniversary! I wonder if I'll get a mention from the Gov General as they do with marriages? I think I deserve it.

Random Canadian Vandals Hit Australian Bus Shelter

2008-04-21T12:19:00.000+10:00

It says HOSER in case you can't make it out.

Book Club

2008-04-16T13:12:00.000+10:00

Here is the new selection if you want to read along.
30 Days in Sydney: A Wildly Distorted Account by Peter Carey.
Last month's book was Shantaram.

This Post Really Is About Surfing

2008-04-16T11:37:00.001+10:00

Yesterday morning it rained, and then was sunny.
I tried out my new wetsuit, which you can see below. I found out the best way to test a new suit for water-resistance is to grab one of the arms and pinch it closed between the elbow and shoulder, then breathe air into the sleeve as if it were a balloon. The faster the air leaks out, the more water gets in, and the colder you get. My suit gets a solid "decent" rating from Posh Lawyer, but after it's stretched out a bit it may be downgraded to "average".

Went out and surfed north of what is affectionately referred to by locals as the "shit pipe". It functions solely to empty the storm drains and sewers of Manly directly into the sea.

Post surf, my board next to the new surfmobile.

In other news, some surf pros visited Manly for an afternoon of filming yesterday. To see some pro shots of pro surfers, click on this link to surfer/photog/man-about-town uge's webpage, Aquabumps. Needless to say, I didn't take the picture below, he did.

This Was Going to Be A Post About Surfing

2008-04-15T09:19:00.000+10:00

Instead, this is a post about how I can't seem to get to work in the morning without forgetting something.
Today it was my USB key. Yesterday it was my security pass. Sometimes I forget my lip chap, sometimes my lunch.
I was going to post some pics of my new wetsuit, Posh Lawyer's sweet new surfmobile and the raining while sunny situation down at the beach this morning, but alas, with no card reader and no USB to speak of, you are out of luck.
To be fair I did get up at 545, so cut me some slack.

A really long time ago I promised some pictures of New Zealand, and I never did post them. So instead of surfing, you get New Zealand travel pics.

Kuba, Andrew, Me, Kelsey

Watch out! I got two bullseyes and I'm pretty darn accurate.

Milford Sound Kayak Trip

Domo Arigato Lomo, My Lomo.

2008-04-09T15:02:00.000+10:00

I have got a new camera. It is a Lomo Fisheye 2, and it only takes fisheye shots, and it uses film. Yes, film. I'm a bit frustated by the lack of colour saturation and digital noise (aka grain on film) problems with my digital camera, and because I can't afford the big dollars to get a better digi cam, I'm going back to the old school.
"Yes, yes," you say, "But Andrea, what about Photoshop?"
Well I say to you, "Do I really want to waste my time sitting inside colour-correcting my digital shots, when I could be outside taking more shots of all the fun I am having? No siree, I do not."

A brief note about the camera: Lomo cameras are created by the Russian company Leningradskoye Optiko-Mechanichesckoye Obyedinenie. They are film cameras, inexpensive point-and-shoot things designed for the masses ages ago and now re-popularized by hipsters and film devotees everywhere. Their charm is in their hazy imagery and blurry exposures.

So here are a few teases from my new camera.
Enjoy.

Don't Tell My Mom

2008-04-08T10:50:00.000+10:00

Lighthouse Beach, courtesy tropicalnsw.com.au

Bad news today. A 16-year-old boy was killed by a shark up the at Lighthouse Beach, near Ballina. Apparently he died from blood loss due to massive lacerations on his leg.

As I was reading the statistics at the end of the article though, I noticed a few things that I would like to address.

1. New South Wales is home to the most recorded fatal shark attacks in Australia.

NSW is also the most populous state in Australia, with 6.7 milllion residents, of which 4.2 million live in greater Sydney (see Aus. Bureau of Statistics). Just to put that in perspective, Queensland trails NSW in shark attack deaths by only 1 and that state has 3.8 million residents, or just over half the population. Which state is really most dangerous? (NSW = 254 total attacks with 73 fatal, while QLD is 234 total attacks, 72 fatal.)

2. Chance of shark attack death.

"In the last 50 years, there have been only 60 human fatalities (1.2 per year) in Australian waters from shark attack," states the Taronga Zoo Shark Attack file. The same file notes that 2-3 people die from bee stings every year, and far more people die from drowning than from shark attacks. For more interesting statistics click here.

Surfrider Australia has compiled a list of preventative measures one can take to reduce their risk of attack. Some of the more interesting tips include not wearing shiny jewellery which can be mistaken for the glint of fish scales, and that sightings of dolphins doesn't mean sharks aren't lurking nearby.

And finally, there's this tip that is clearly directed at 12-25 year-old boys everywhere:
"Do not harass a shark if you see one. It may harass you back."

Newspaper Fantastic Part 2

2008-04-02T09:38:00.000+11:00

This page is scanned direct from today's morning paper. I tried to get on with The Manly Daily when I first moved to town, but they were having none of it. I think they know how sweet their gigs are and aren't keen to share.

Newspaper Fantastic Part 1

2008-04-02T09:32:00.000+11:00

Whooo! Check me out!

Great Things

2008-03-31T10:10:00.001+11:00

After having written a post questioning some bits of Australia, I thought it would be a nice counterpoint to write a post celebrating some other bits of this place. So here goes:

1. Taking the ferry to work.

You get on, you get a seat and if you're lucky it's a nice day outside so you're able to sit on the upper deck. The ride lasts about 30 minutes, enough for a nap or a good devouring of the morning paper. Often there are young, good-looking people for you to admire. In the afternoons, people gather in the bow on the bottom deck, and stand around drinking beer from brown paper bags, in full sight of the security cameras. Sometimes, they forgo the brown bags entirely. Other times the harbour is filled with sailboats, and they sail alongside the ferry. If the day gets really exciting a sailboat may cross into the ferry's path, and then the ferry captain sounds a warning horn, and people on the ferry crane their necks to see who has almost crashed his boat into the ferry hull.
Finally, all of the ferry boats are named after surf beaches located on the northern edge of the city, just up the coast from me. There's the Freshwater, the Narrabeen, the Collaroy and the Queenscliff, and you can learn about them here.

2. Banana bread.

Australians regard banana bread as a fundamental right of existence. You can get it everywhere, all the time. My favorite so far is served at Bacino, an Italian-cycling themed coffee joint with branches around the Northern Beaches. Bacino warms the bread in a panini press so it comes out with a checkerboard texture, and is then dusted with icing sugar and served with butter on the side. It's a great pleasure to melt the butter over the nooks and crannies of the panini, smoothing it across the icing sugar, and soaking it into the bread. Best consumed outside under an umbrella, watching the world go by.

3. Markets

One of the advantages of perpetual summer is the ability to live a much larger proportion of life outside. Australians love going to the markets. In Sydney proper you can go to Glebe (arty), Bondi (trendy), Manly (mishmash), Balmain, Paddington (trendy-expensive), Paddy's (fish) and so on. My friend Kelsey has small feet and regularly scores expensive leather shoes for cheap. Many Australian designers like Lisa Ho and ksubi (formerly tsubi) got their starts selling at the markets. In the case of the clothing-heavy markets, they're usually held on Sundays, so after you've had some banana bread you can head out for an arvo of shopping and seeing and being seen.

Bafflements

2008-03-26T11:01:00.001+11:00

I like Australia. But sometimes, Australia just doesn't make any sense. For example:

1. Street signage.
Sporadic, uniformative and difficult to see. It's possible to come to an intersection, see four or five signs notifying you of the name of one street, but the cross street will remain mysteriously unidentified. Of course, the cross street is probably the street you're trying to find. At other times, there's a lack of signage. Or the sign is posted to a building. Sometimes the sign is forest green, when it's on a building. But not always. (However, this could just be a Sydney problem. I hear Melbourne's built on a grid system, and I have a feeling they have better signs there too. When I make it over next month, I will file a report.)

2. Tomato Sauce.

Ketchup is called to-mah-to sauce here. If you want some on your fries, you usually have to ask for it. It is not a given. And what of the tomato sauce we North Americans put on pizzas and pastas? That's called tomato puree, even if there's more than pureed tomatoes in the sauce.

3. The Aussie Burger.

Beetroot, pineapple, bacon, barbecue sauce and a fried egg. I am told this one comes from Metzis Tasty Takeaway, Mackenzie Street (off Reddall Parade), Mount Warrigal NSW 2528 Australia. I borrowed this picture from flickr.

4. Beetroot. Why is it called beetroot? We don't call carrots "carrotroot" or potatoes "potatoroot". I think it falls under the British habit of being pedanticly explicit. For example, calling tape "sticky tape."

5. The popularity of the Ute.

The Ute, short for utility vehicle, is a cultural icon in Australia. The one above is from Holden, an Aussie car company. According to AutoWeb, who've published a retrospective of the Ute, the vehicle "remains an enduring symbol of hard work and a laidback lifestyle; a definition of the essential Australia." You can read the rest of the article here. I've heard rumours there is a song about performing sexual acts in the back of said vehicle, but I think my leg is getting pulled on that one.

360 Degrees of Manly

2008-02-20T11:24:00.000+11:00

I've recently met a photographer named Peter Murphy who makes 360-degree panoramic shots of Sydney and the area.
He's provided some beautiful pictures on his blog that I'd like to share with you; the first is Manly from the air, and the second is Manly Beach. (You will need Quicktime to view them.)I live just under the area of the propeller engine that you see in the first photo. The two arms of land are the harbour heads, the entrance to Sydney Harbour.
Peter told me he puts his camera on a monopod and takes a series of photos from a fixed point and then stitches them together in post-production. He said that sometimes it can get quite difficult with crowd scenes where there may be a great deal of movement between shots. I'm sorry to have to lay out the html links below, but Explorer is being quite problematic and I can't access the html layout on Blogger.

1. http://www.mediavr.com/manlyairship.htm

2. http://www.mediavr.com/manlysurf.htm

Party Time

2008-02-18T11:38:00.000+11:00

Hello dear audience of three, how I've missed you. I have been lax in updating my blog, I apologize. I have started a new job which requires a commute from my beach suburb into Sydney proper, a trip that takes me by the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge daily. I'll upload a photo of that soon.

In other news, last night I went to Tropfest, an outdoor short film festival held in a park adjoining the botanical gardens. It epitomized all that I love best about Australia-people getting together to enjoy something with minimal drama. Case in point: there were thousands of people at the fest, with picnics, coolers of beer and boxes of wine. No one was drunk and disorderly, although certainly many people were drinking. The audience stayed quiet and enjoyed the films during their presentation, people were cautious not to tread on others' picnic blankets, the lines for the toilets moved quickly and painlessly. No authoritarian security guards on power trips busting people for drinking in public, no drunken hecklers, no screen-blockers. It was just chill. Oh, and did I mention it was free? And there were local upcoming bands (ie Van She, check them out) playing the pre-show, and celebrity judges Geoffrey Rush and Naomi Watts. As dusk fell, swarms of bats flew out of the trees and circled over the edge of the clearing while on the hunt, as if they too were watching the events. All in all, it was so well run it would have been worth paying decent money to attend. I am thoroughly impressed.

Cheeky Buggers

2008-01-08T13:50:00.000+11:00

We have friends! The rainbow lorikeets! They land on our balcony and chirp and chirp. So far we've tried bread, crackers, bird food pellets from the grocery store and muesli. As you can see from this photo taken by my flatmate, Posh Lawyer, they like muesli the best. Yesterday they came back again, and the same lorikeet from this picture climbed on to my hand and pecked at my fingers because he thought it might be edible.
If you'd like to check out other photos from my flatmate's blog you can do so here. His goal is to post a photo for every day of the year.

Rage Of The Day

2008-01-07T14:53:00.000+11:00

I have something I have to get off my chest. It's kind of a big deal to me. Every time it happens, a little piece of me dies. I rage and rage internally about it, but I've yet to see anyone here blink an eye. Nothing. It's common practice. So Australia, let me state this loud and clear for the bogans in the back: Never, ever put chicken fingers in rice and seaweed and then call it sushi.

This is an affront to generations of men who spent hours at their fathers' sides, learning how to find the best fish and cut them in to the tastiest of bite-sized morsels with knife skills that would make a butcher weep. (Or at least this is how I imagine sushi came about...) And to think that you're an island nation, with some ridiculous proportion of the population living somewhere on a coast, surrounded by oceans full of fish, and the best you can do is a chicken finger? Worse yet, you pretend it's worldly and call it a "chicken schnitzel roll." I can't even begin to describe what's wrong with that. It's like a Volksyota, or something.

The whole point of sushi is that it isn't cooked, and it involves fish and/or crustaceans. (Okay, yes, the rice is cooked.) Chickens are animals that belong in noodle dishes or grilled in sweet soya sauce on a skewer (yakitori). They don't cozy up to rice and seaweed like long-lost friends.

And thus was my position on Australia's sushi industry: crap. Until I went to New Zealand.

New Zealand did something even worse: they cooked the tuna. And probably mixed it with mayo. Then they made a roll out of it. I could have hung my head in hands and wept. Aren't you Oceania nations closer to Japan than Canada? What is the point of being an island nation if you are going to put chicken in? Why are you cooking the tuna? I know it's not because you are scared of raw fish because I also had a piece of raw tuna on my plate. Why, why, why?

This is definitely the worse thing to happen to sushi since the Ontario government tried to bring in regulations that would require freezing sushi fish before serving.

Thank you all for letting me get it off my chest. It really does fill me with rage every single time. And if any Toronto friends could courier me some unagi maki from Sushi On Bloor, I would be eternally grateful.

NZ

2008-01-02T21:37:00.000+11:00

I will have a terrific bunch of pictures to post from New Zealand in the next few days, which will be a great change from all of the text I've been posting lately.

New Zealand is an excellent place, chock-full of characters. They just popped out of the woodwork. For example, an old sea salt named Skip offered to take us fishing on Boxing Day in his little launch. He brought along a lunch of Fanta (Orange Crush) and cheese puffs. His boat was in fine condition, so fine that he felt it necessary to remove the starter and instead wrap a green nylon rope found in the bottom of his boat around the flywheel to start the engine. Did we make it back to shore? Yes, after drifting over mussel nets, failing to start the engine multiple times, flagging down a passing fishing boat, and then finally making it back in. And to show for our troubles one small snapper.

Or today, while sitting near the river in Arrowtown, a guy on a dirtbike pulls up next to us, takes off his helmet and with mullet waving in the wind, asks us to watch his bike. "If anyone tries to take it, just smash them," he says.

So, may those words of wisdom help you in the New Year. If anyone tries to take anything that belongs to you, just smash them.

What I Did For My Birthday

2007-12-14T16:05:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I turned twenty-four. I was woken up by my flatmates singing Happy Birthday.
They burst into my room with pancakes covered in maple syrup, coffee and a big gold box. Inside that box was an Australian flag towel, bikini and beer cozy. I have tested out the bikini in the saltwater pool below our apartment, but I opted to leave the towel at home in case I was mistaken for an overly patriotic citizen and recruited to work on a sheep station or worse, attend an entire cricket match. Tomorrow I will test out the towel with a regular bikini.

Later on in the evening we celebrated by going to the Steyne hotel to have some beer. (Yes, it is pronounced "stain." And no one seems to find it funny, but these are the same people who have named a beach "North Steyne", so there you go. Mr. Steyne must've been a popular guy.) Along with our beer, we had some meat. Actually not just some, but quite a lot. When self-professed carnivores need to pause because they are getting the meat sweats, well, you know there was a lot of meat. I myself opted for the beef burger, which was more of a three-pounds-of-beef burger, served with onion, tomato, cheese, lettuce and sliced beets. Yes, they put beets on burgers here. Not sure about that one either.

To entertain us while we stumbled through all that flesh, we competed in the bar trivia contest. This consisted of trying to answer many questions about random celebrities, name songs based on random snippets, and identify people in photos that we may or may not know. Even for someone who watches a lot of American television, I thought the match was a bit skewed towards North America. Anyway, our table came third and so we won twenty dollars in bar vouchers. Which, like a good Canadian, I made us spend on Canadian Club.

My friend Kelsey also gave me a towel, a big beautiful thick beach towel, which she said was to discourage me from using hers. She's a smart cookie that one, because she has the Rolls Royces of beach towels, and they are awfully tempting. And just so I don't roast myself while testing out new towels and cossies (Aussie for bathing suit) she gave me a sweet fuschia slap bracelet watch. Friends and roommates beware! You just might get slapped! The late 80s are back!

The tip of the evening had to be the cake, though. Again, the lovely Kiwis, fond of an inside joke, gave me a chocolate cake with white icing that read "How's the Serenity?" For those of you who have not seen The Castle, let me enlighten you.
The movie is about a typical Australian family, a bit on the hick side of life, who are trying to save their house from being torn down to make room for another runway at the Melbourne airport. The father of the family is well-meaning, but a bit lost. He likes to take his family up to his little get-away he calls Bonny Dune, which of course, is quite a dump. While sitting on the porch one night with his family, who are being defeaned by the zzzzzt of the bug-zapper, he turns and asks them, "How's the serenity?" in all seriousness. Apparently The Castle is to Australians as Bob and Doug are to Canadians, so it was all quite fitting.

And that was my birthday in Oz.

The View From the New Place

2007-12-11T12:46:00.000+11:00

Okay, so I'm keeping up my tradition of stealing photos from other websites. I got this one off of a real estate agent's site, but I can't remember which one. This is essentially the view from my balcony off the living room. The two headlands in the distance are the North and South heads of Port Jackson, which is the official name of Sydney's harbour. Beyond that is the open Pacific. Ferries cut across from where you see the apartment building on the left of the photo to the gap between the south head and the closer point on the right side of the photo. There aren't so many sailboats lately, it's been rainy and stormy.

Shout-outs to the Roommates

2007-12-04T12:03:00.000+11:00

I moving into a new place on Thursday, an apartment with views of the Sydney Harbour.
I will be living with three Kiwis (New Zealanders), who have been asking me how come I'm not writing about them on my blog. So, in honor of our new place, I will introduce you to my new flatmates.

1.
Name: Jane
Alias: Dewey Decimal or DeeDee for short. This is Australia, remember. Abbr.
Occupation: Librarian
Interests: I don't know all of Jane's interests yet, but she has good taste in music, clothes and books. I think we are off to a good start. For example, she likes Douglas Coupland novels, and has awesome sunglasses. She brings home copies of Vice Magazine.
Plus, she can speak Japanese.

Jane is a vegetarian, and she makes a killer bowl of noodles.

2.
Name: James
Alias: Alpina
Occupation: Acoustical engineer
Interests: Alpinas. I direct your attention to this quote gleaned from the Alpina company website:
"To build special automobiles for a small circle of cognoscenti, for people who have a taste for exclusivity and the finer things in life, and who aren’t in need of exhibitionist exterior presentation in their automobile."

James has a fabulous collection of sneakers, lots of books about other cars, and a shiny silver pin depicting a DeLorean with the doors open. (The same type of car from Back to The Future.)

James is also my New Zealand vocal coach. I'm not a very good student, because I still sound very Canadian.

3.
Name: Will
Alias: Posh Lawyer
Occupation: Media lawyer
Interests: Surfing, contracts, a nice glass of scotch. Will may also be taking a ski trip (or it may be snowboarding, I can't remember that part) to a remote region of India. The brochure cautions that there may be land mines and head-high wire in some areas. We are understandably concerned on his behalf about this detail. I think we should try to urge him back in the direction of Whistler, don't you think? (Yay, Motherland!)

Will says that when I imitate his accent I sound like Mary Poppins.

Bellemare's Field Guide to Australian Bird Calls

2007-11-29T16:17:00.000+11:00

If it sounds like: a whaaat whaaat whaaaat whuuuh huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. At top volume.
Then it's an: Australian Raven.

If it sounds like: a monkey screaming wildly over and over, or the insane laugh of a mad chipmunk scientist.
Then it's a: Laughing Kookaburra.

If it sounds like: as my friend Kelsey puts it, "a screaming pterodactyl coming to get me." I also like to describe them as screeching Ringwraiths of Doom.
Then it's a: Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo.

It if sounds like: bunch of rusty springs squeaking loudly together.
Then it's a: pack of Rainbow Lorikeets.

If it sounds like: a cute guy whistling at you. Or as Kelsey says, "I don't know what it is but that bird preys on my vanity."
Then it's a: Pied Currawong.

A Rainy Manly Morning

2007-11-27T15:41:00.001+11:00

I borrowed my roommate's camera and I managed to get a few nice shots this morning before the battery died.
Although I knew that hibiscus flowers curled up at night, I guess they also curl up in the rain? They were only just opening when I snapped shot above, and I think it was because the rain had slowed to a drizzle.

Where I Live

2007-11-17T20:10:00.000+11:00

I've been having trouble with my camera lately. When I turn it on, it the lens doesn't extend and the screen goes black and displays an E18 error. A quick Google revealed this is a common flaw in Canon cameras and may be because there is grit or sand in the lens. Well, big fat check on that one, I've got so much sand in everything I own I'm surprised it isn't coming out my ears. (Actually it is...)
But it's high time I posted some pictures of where I'm living. So in the grand tradition of the internet, I am going to rip off pictures from other websites.
I found a beauty at the Manly Chamber of Commerce site, of the skinny part of the Manly peninsula. The close side is the Manly Wharf, where you can catch the ferry to Sydney. The far side (closer to the top of the photo) is the beach that faces the open ocean. The restaurant where I work is located a bit farther left, I think it may be just cut off at the edge of the photo. I walk along the beach every day to work.

Awesome Things I have Seen on Aussie TV

2007-11-05T16:36:00.000+11:00

-On a game show similar to Jeopardy, the pointing girl is showing off a television the show is giving away as a prize. Only the host of the show has put up a picture of his baby on the telly, and he says, "Can we get a close-up on those cheeks?"

-A reporter goes to interview a woman who's had quads, triplets and a single kid. The kids run up, take his shoe off, then his sock, and then one of them bites him on the toe. He jumps around yelling and hobbles out of the room, in real, obvious pain.

-A woman host on Today Tonight asks Terri Irwin (the widow of the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin) about the night Bindi (their daughter) was conceived. Quote: "Didn't you say it was the best seven minutes of your life?"

-Instead of the normal shoulder graphic behind the host that you usually see on TV news, Today Tonight uses the ENTIRE screen. So, you get a wall of planes flying behind the anchor while she's talking.

-In a commercial for impotence drugs, two men take off their pants and play the piano with their penises. The audience applauds loudly.

Why Australians Drink Beer

2007-11-05T16:35:00.000+11:00

Because a when a bottle of vodka sets you back $38, you're going to look for other options.

Australia

2007-11-01T09:41:00.000+11:00

Things to Know about Australia include:

1. Abbreviate everything you possibly can. Why use two syllables when one will do? For example, on my way home from the airport I saw a sign that read "Happy Birthday Tones!" Because, you know, Tony is a long name and wears on the tongue.

2. Supré is the Suzy Shier/Stitches/H&M/Sirens all rolled into one, but with way more fluoro (fluorescent, see #1). The 80s are making a comback in a big way. Want a tiered, ruffled, white skirt with neon pink, green and yellow paint spatters? Head to Supré. High-waisted purple shorts with mini-suspenders? Supré again, my friend. Now if I could only get someone to explain to me why an Aussie store has a French name I'd be all set.

3. Sticker shock. Someone told me before I went that it's expensive to get to Australia, but once you're there, everything is cheap. So, when was the last time you saw a four-pack of toothbrushes on sale for eleven dollars? These are Europe prices, people. But then again, in a country where serving jobs pay you in the double-digits, perhaps this is to be expected.

4. Random, random, random. A bogan is a hick, a hubbard is a nerd, a gumby is a person who is clumsy, a bin is a garbage can, a battler is a little guy who fights hard (applied variously to Silverchair back when they were 14 and a kid working hard at school and not having much success). I'm probably not even getting these quite right.

Barcelona

2007-10-20T21:17:00.000+10:00

This is the view from my hostel window common room. It looks onto the Plaza Reial. It's full of people at all hours of the night and day, packed with restaurants, clubs and cafes. Around three in the morning, the police come and stand around while the street cleaners hose it down.

The plaza is also famous for containing two street lamps that are the first public work Gaudi did. I'll get some pictures up a bit later.

The Trains in Spain are Mainly a Pain.

2007-10-19T01:42:00.000+10:00

The first sign that things were not going to go so well was that my train was due to depart in fifteen minutes and the departure platform still hadn't been posted on the departure board. I was waiting for a train from Valencia to Barcelona, departing at 12 noon and they were still showing trains that had left at 9:47 and 10:38. Spain takes a relaxed approach to its train system.

After clearing the x-ray machine (At a train station? Really? Are you even looking at what's in my bag, mister? You missed the corkscrew, the nail clippers and the pocket knife, just so you know) I took the escalator down to the platform. And just to be clear, there is one escalator to the platform. No stairs. And about two hundred people wanting to get to the train. No bottleneck whatsoever.

So I got to the platform. And waited. And waited. I think the train was about 15 minutes late, but it could've been closer to twenty. I don't know, I think I passed out from the boredom.

Then everyone began pushing like mad to get on, only for some reason my compartment contained people who couldn't seem to get past the door. Never mind that the rest of the carriage is empty, these people want to hover. Look people, my seat is down at the other end, and there is one door for this carriage so I have to get past you to sit down. Then I get down there, look up and realize there is no way my bag will fit on the luggage rack, plus I would have to stand on the seat to get it up there. I have to haul my bag back down to the other end of the carriage and force it into a rack there. (Where's a nice French luggage rack when you need it?)

Finally I get to sit down. That's when I discover something that usually isn't a problem for me: there is absolutely no leg room. I'm 157cm or 5 ft, 2in and I couldn't move anywhere. And it's going to be another 3 hours of this. Sigh. I listen for the announcement telling me that I'll be in Valencia, but it doesn't come. In fact, I couldn't hear them announce Valencia as our final destination at any point during the trip until we actually pulled into the city. I thought I was going to end up in some town in the middle of nowhere. At least I'd be able to get off of the train.

Luckily I was able to sleep most of the rest of the time, and thus bring my journey to an end more quickly. Off the train, into the hostel, done.

But don't even get me started on the reservation system.

Best Mates

2007-10-15T21:31:00.000+10:00

It seems that Barcelona and Blogger don't get along. I can't get any pictures to load, despite trying for a few days. So I'm going to write a text-only post today. The blog equivalent of doing phoner interview on TV. Here goes:

So far, at every hostel I've been at, there have been Aussies, at least a few, generally a lot. And we always have the same conversation which goes something like this:

Me: Where you from?
Them: Australia, X City. Where you from?
Me: I'm from Toronto, Canada but really I was born in the middle of nowhere.
Them: Oh cool. I like Canadians/Canada/dated a Canadian once/worked at a ski resort/want to go soon/was there and can't wait to go back.
Me: That's cool, I like Australia. I'm going to be living there this winter, I mean your summer. I'm really excited!
Them: Oh yeah, you're going to have a great time. Canadians and Australians get along real well, I reckon. We're like best friends.
Me: Yeah we have the same sense of humour. And with every Australian I meet, we talk about how Canadians and Australians get on so well.
Them: It's because you're not Americans.

Then we drink some beer, and talk about which wild animals in our respective countries have attacked who and when. Last night it was cougars vs. sharks. Sometimes it's bears vs. jellyfish. But in terms of poisonous creatures, Australia still wins hands down.

What I did for Thanksgiving

2007-10-10T00:14:00.001+10:00

As Thanksgiving is a North American holiday, I had a distinct lack of invitations to turkey dinners this past weekend. No perogies, no ham, no dressing and no pumpkin pie. Not even un peu du poulet avec des patates.
So without an eight-thousand course dinner to sit down to, I had a bit of time on my hands. "What to do, what to do?" I wondered to myself. Then it hit me. I had been in Paris for four days already and I still had not gone to the most obvious tourist attraction on Earth. It was time to acquaint myself with Le Tour Eiffel.

Riding a Bike to the Beach

2007-10-04T22:06:00.000+10:00

This video is from my trip to the beach two days ago with Jason and two lovely Aussies that we met in Nice. We rented bikes from the tourism office for two euros for the day and headed off with only a map of downtown and a vague sense of which way south was to guide us. We ended up first at a Maison De Vins, and being hot and thirsty despite the fact we had only been riding for about twenty minutes, we decided to stop and have a wine tasting.
After purchasing two bottles we continued on our way, first across a highway overpass, then down a rutted trail through bamboo along the side of a canal and finally to a paved path through salt marshes. On one side of the trail there were pink flamingos grazing in the marshes, and on the other were rows of sailboats lining the length of the canal.
The quality of the light is really fantastic and I hope the glow shows in the videos and pictures. If I were a filmmaker or photographer you couldn`t get me to stop shooting when it looks that pretty.

France: Either or Or

2007-10-03T23:03:00.000+10:00

Before travelling to France, I heard horror story after horror story about rude French people, that they're impossible, refuse to speak to you in French even if you have addressed them so and generally wish you didn't exist.
Let me correct this fallacy: only half of all French people are like this. The other half are brilliant, kind, funny and sweet. Like the gentleman who runs the crepe place up the street from my hostel in Montpellier, who discusses his favorite movie actors with us, and talked about the French author Marcel Pagnol who he says really stirs the emotions. He was absolutely lovely.

Compare him to the wait staff we had at a cafe this afternoon. My friend went to get change for a twenty and the the woman behind the counter said they had no change, and perhaps he should try to find a little cafe that could help him. My friend was understandably confused, seeing as we were AT A LITTLE CAFE. Then the waiter refused to give us change for the twenty, and had the gall to tell me that in France NO ONE USES A FIVE EURO BILL. EVER. French people only use tens or twenties. Nothing else. It should be noted he said this while waving around the only five euro bill he happened to have in my face.

So, we did the only reasonable thing, and paid the bill in one, two and five cent pieces, because he obviously needed some change.

France really is either terrifc or terrible. Nothing in between.

2007-09-29T19:01:00.000+10:00

This is a photo from the beach in Nice. Even though it's almost October, there were tons of planes arriving, bringing more tourists. The beach itself was mostly small pebbles but there were two man-made sandy spots. The only problem with the sand is that it was extremely windy, so all my stuff was filled with sand by the end of the day. The waves were high and it was a bit cold, not really swimming weather. The other problem with Nice is the construction. They are ripping up all the roads in the downtown so it takes forever to get anywhere. We were suprised to find they were laying down new tracks for...you guessed it...a streetcar line. Just like Toronto. Le plus ca change, le plus c'est la meme chose.

Rays

2007-09-29T18:55:00.000+10:00

I took the photo of the tank of rays below at the Genoa aquarium. You have to lean in over the fake rocks to touch them, and there are all sorts of signs about touching softly for a short time instead of a "long caress." When the rays swim, they either stay flat, under the water, or they tilt their bodies upwards and their front parts (noses?) come out and they look as thought they are sniffing. It's quite interesting to watch. You can see one of the rays in the bottom right of the picture doing just that.

Venice, Long Overdue

2007-09-27T22:40:00.001+10:00

The above photo is from shop on the island of Murano in Venice. If you click on it, it will open as a larger photo in another window. I'm trying to get more photos up, but not having much luck.

Video Glut!

2007-09-27T21:24:00.000+10:00

I have finally been able to get a free internet connection, so I'm going to be putting up a whole bunch of videos. The oldest videos are at the top, starting with Venice.

Gondola rides are overrated. They cost around 70 euro for an hour and they are slow and boring. I think after you watch this video you will agree. I didn't make it longer so as not to prolong the pain.

The best way to see Venice is by waterbus. You can get everywhere quickly and cheaply, but you get to see all of Venice, instead of simply a small part.

This video is from the aquarium in Genoa, the biggest in all of Europe. They have dolphins, rays, sharks, seals, penguins and piranhas.

Expensive Internet!

2007-09-26T00:31:00.000+10:00

I have some great videos from a boat ride in Venice and of Florence at night and even some seals from the aquarium here in Genoa, but I can't find any cheap internet to upload video. Hopefully the next hostel in France will be better.

I'm also going to post a picture of the rays I got to pet at the aquarium and some dolphin videos.

Giosa's Bar

2007-09-21T09:22:00.000+10:00

Every once in a while you run into a real character. Today, I ran into Giosa. His bar is a tent on the side of a canal in Venice, close to the train terminal. We were looking for a drink before the bus came, and Giosa was more than happy to provide us with cold ones. I must say, the ability to have a beer on the street is one area in which Europe has got North American trumped.

Giosa also sells chips (mind the dust on the bag), candy, beer, Bacardi coolers and wine. You can buy wine by the glass, as long as you don't mind that your glass is actually a plastic cup. Giosa likes to play loud Italian music, and he knows the words, so sometimes he sings along.

In case you were wondering what type of fellow Giosa really is, let me give you an example:

He's also quite proud of his bar. So proud that he hung up a caldendar on his bar with a picture of his bar on it. Please note the bar is in the bottom right side of the photo.

And if you wondered to yourself, "Self, where do you think Giosa goes when he needs to urinate? His bar doesn't look big enough for a toliet, and he must work long hours. How does he get away when he needs to?"

Well, you can stop wondering. Giosa goes in the canal behind the stairs.

Ciao! Sono Spiderman!

2007-09-19T17:32:00.000+10:00

I really like comics so it was a big treat to come across a Spiderman exhibit while exploring the Roman ruins yesterday. (And it was free!) I hadn't realized that Spiderman was so popular in Italy, but it makes sense considering that in Europe and Asia comics are not considered solely the domain of kids and nerds who live in their parents' basements. It turns out that the exhibit was part of Rome's Notte Bianca and they even projected a spiderweb on the side of the Colosseum. Back to the exhibit: there were examples of noted Italian artists who had drawn Spidey, a giant upside down Spidey in the centre of the room (kisses anyone?) and a collection of action figures. Aside from the comics, the exhibit also had different versions of the Spiderman theme playing, like the metal version and the bossa nova version. So, in order to get a better feel for it, I think you should hum the theme tune while you look at the rest of the pics.

Some of the old classic covers. I think Spiderman made his debut in Italy around 1970.

One wall was dedicated entirely to social and cultural issues. In this example Mary Jane is clearly determined to overcome the evil that is smoking.

These panels deal with eating disorders. I don't know about you but those last few panels before the hospital bed are terrifying.

Spidey goes to 'Nam.

Spiderman, Wolverine and Cyclops help the NYPD and NYFD find survivors in the wreckage of the World Trade Center.

Lemon Lemon

2007-09-18T19:00:00.000+10:00

I can't believe I almost forgot to post this. Last night we went for a nice dinner nearby and had a craving for gelati after. And as we were discussing getting up to find a gelateria the server came by with a dessert menu. And on that menu was a lemon gelato served in half of a giant lemon. There was also a coconut gelato served in a half coconut shell. I only tried the lemon, but was it ever good!

2007-09-18T18:53:00.000+10:00

As promised here is a short video of the beautiful pizza available at Solo Pizza across the street. Three euros will get you a piece of pizza about 8 inches by 8 inches. Note the massive amounts of bocconcini on the second pizza. I will be testing it out later today.

Rome! and PIZZA!

2007-09-17T22:15:00.000+10:00

Quick update people; there's a resto nearby that sells an entire pizza for three euros. A full size pizza. I'm going to go and order one and take a quick video of it. YUM!

Rome is warm and cloudy.

What Could Go Wrong.

2007-09-14T07:17:00.000+10:00

-Kangaroo/vehicle negative interaction
-Deep vein thrombosis
-Jet lag
-Mugging
-Airline loses luggage
-Fellow hosteler steals luggage
-Motion sickness
-Bed bugs get into luggage and on self
-Terrorist attack
-Malaria
-Forest fires
-Severe drought (Australia mostly)
-Existential angst (France)
-Monsoons
-Gastrointestinal chaos

-Jellyfish sting

I prepared this handy little list of potential calamities after noticing a sinister trend. It seems like something bad is happening in every place I want to visit. Let me give you an example: I planned to fly to Greece, land in Athens and travel by train to Olympia. Well, Olympia nearly burned to the ground so I had to change my flight. Now, things are back to normal. But I can't afford to change my flight again.

Let me give you another example : My travel friend suggested we head to Ravenna, a small Italian town on the eastern coast on the country nearish to Vienna. Lo and behold did Ravenna fall prey to a mosquito-borne virus called Chikungunya, a disease previously not found outside India, Africa and Asia.

It sounds quite pleasant according to the National Travel Health Network (bolded terms my own):

"Initial symptoms of CHIKV infection include a sudden onset of severe arthralgias and myalgias, accompanied by fever, headache and conjunctivitis. Joint involvement is usually symmetrical, affects the extremities and can result in swelling, pain, redness and limitation of movement. A maculopapular rash involving primarily the trunk can occur concurrently with defervescence. Illness usually resolves over three to five days. Most patients recover fully over a period of a few weeks, although 5 - 10% of patients will experience chronic joint pain, stiffness and swelling that can persist."

Despite protests from said travel companion, who also mentioned something about Ravenna's historical reputation as a town surrounded by malarial swamps, I have decided to skip the achy joints and conjunctivitis. I want my souvenirs of Italy to be postcards and expensive leather sandals.

First Post!

2007-08-10T03:15:00.000+10:00

Hello all,
I've finally joined the blogosphere. Like some wise friends before me, I've decided to detail my travels online instead of in mass-emailings. This also allows me to embed videos and photos, which as we all know, are often the most interesting parts of blogs.

Some of you may be wondering about the name. Lacking the financial resources to create my own TV station, and lacking the technical skill to create an awesome multi-media website from scratch, I decided on the next best thing: a words-and-video blog. I hope you enjoy it.